Santa Arrested for Opposing Mountaintop Removal

By scott parkin

Santa Clause was arrested while delivering stockings of coal and bundles of switches to the CEO’s of the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA). Delivering coal is the least favorite part of Santa’s job but when TVA held a public meeting at their office in Chattanooga; Santa knew he had to deliver years of backlog coal
first hand.

At the board meeting Santa waited patiently for his turn to talk and then he told all the bad children why he was there. Santa told the TVA board and the coal executives attending the meeting that he had to deliver them lumps of coal not because they needed any more coal but because he was sent by the little children of Appalachia.

TVA is the largest purchaser of coal in North America–if not the planet and Santa apparently got allot of letters from children asking for his help.

The letters to Santa read were from sad children who could not go outside and play sometimes because of days were it is literally unhealthy to breathe in Tennessee.

Santa read letters from children sad that to many of their grandparents die slow deaths of extended asphyxiation while lugging around bottled oxygen.

Santa read children’s letters complaining that mountains are being blown up to get at that coal. The children said they felt that the drinking water was important and that they liked playing in the forest.

While telling his story, Santa was surrounded by police officers hired by TVA, handcuffed and hauled away.

Santa is a long time activist and stands in solidarity with United Mountain Defense, Three River Earth First!, Mountain Justice and coal-impacted residents of Appalachia.

Please help Santa fill his stocking to get out of jail by sending jail support donations to the pay pal account at

You can also send checks to:
P.O. Box 20363
Knoxville, TN 37920
Please Mark Check: “For Jail Support”

For The Mountains
One angry elf