Zombies March on SF EPA, Demand End of MTR, Brains

By Branden Ran

It was an unusual site at the EPA on Friday, as a group of mountain-loving zombies turned up to let EPA Administrator, Lisa Jackson, know that Mountaintop Removal coal mining must stop.

Where are your braaaains????

“Where’s your Brains?” One of the walking undead demanded, while others shuffled about carrying signs that called out JPMorgan Chase as the top funder of MTR, “Chase Killing Communities” and declaring that “Coal Kills!”

The zombie mob made their way from their first stop, JP Morgan Chase’s SF offices on Howard St, where they caused quite a stir that had security running for the door locks and had bystanders chuckling and reaching out – carefully – to the zombies who offered information on this most egregious form of powering our country.

At the EPA offices staff on their way back from lunch were friendly and supportive, some going so far as to say that they wish they were doing more and that they wanted to see it stop as well.

One zombie told this reporter that they “Want to save the mountains and the communities of Appalachia, Tennesee and Kentucky” but that they are particularly upset about the blasting at Coal River Mountain, West Virginia. Coal River Mountain has been proposed as the site for a green energy wind farm, capable of producing clean energy for up to 700,000 West Virginia homes. If Massey Energy has their way, this will be a missed opportunity for the rest of us.

“Even a zombie knows that blowing up mountains for coal is stupid”, said one of the protesting ghouls.

There have been some recent moves by the EPA that are hopeful signs for environmentalists and coal mountain residents, with the recent stopping of the Spruce Mine operation and the holding back of 79 of 86 recent permits that failed to meet the Clean Water Act. The EPA has a long way to go, however, as Massey and its subsidieares and contemporaries continue to plunder the mountains and fuel our dangerous addiction to the dirtiest, most destructive forms of energy.

Unable to get into the building to deliver their messages, etched on tombstones, the zombies wandered into a nearby parking structure, perhaps hoping to gain entry, only to become disoriented and finally emerged back at the EPA office entrance.

Police were on hand and friendly as the zombies dispersed.

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